• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Because Of Dogs

Dogs make us better humans

  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Free Gift
  • Visit Our Etsy Shop
You are here: Home / Blog

Blog

Do You Need Pet Insurance?

May 23, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

If you’ve ever had a pet, you’ve likely faced some tough decisions. Often, the most heartbreaking ones come when you have to make decisions based on whether you have the finances to give your fur baby the care she needs: medicine, tests, procedures, and the like. It can be one of the most heart-wrenching decisions of your life when you know something might save your pet, but it will cost hundreds or thousands of dollars that you simply don’t have.

This is where pet insurance can be a life saver — quite literally.

Years ago when pet insurance first became a thing, it didn’t seem worth it for the majority of regular pet parents. We’d wind up spending more on insurance than what our pets cost us annually anyway. Of course, it was super beneficial if your pet experienced something catastrophic, but otherwise, it didn’t make sense economically for the average caregiver.

I must admit, I haven’t insured my own Jackson. When he joined my family, pet insurance wasn’t on my mind — only business coverage for the actual pet sitting work that I do. I’ve just recently noticed how much more affordable and beneficial insurance has become.

I’d been thinking about this topic when Cristina Bailey, Community Outreach representative with Money Magazine, contacted me to share an article from their online magazine about pet insurance. I appreciate the research Money Magazine did to research pet insurers and narrow the list down to 11 companies they deemed worth considering. The magazine listed pros and cons and included links to each company.

Full disclosure: I still haven’t decided if I am going to insure Jackson; he’s almost 12, so coverage might not make as much sense at this stage of his life. But I’m keeping an open mind and using the magazine’s research to see whether there is something I should get for him. Also, my fur-niece Lillie is only five, so she will likely be getting insured.

But before I discuss what Cristina sent me, I want to share a story about a client of mine (with her permission). Having facts and figures is one thing, but hearing someone’s firsthand experience is quite another.

Miracle Maisy

Miss Maisy in her Easter collar and enjoying life as every puppy should

Maisy is a seven-month-old St. Bernard. I have the pleasure of walking her several times a week, and she is an absolute sweetheart who loves everyone she meets. People often ask if they can pet her, and she rewards their attention with snuggles and kisses, while basking in all the love they pour on her. She enjoys her walks and loves playing with other dogs. This is a girl who is very obviously well taken care of and loved by her human family.

But her story could have ended far too soon.

When Maisy was only four months old, on Valentine’s Day, she had her first seizure. She immediately developed non cardiac pulmonary edema, a condition in which the lungs fill with fluid. Although her mother reacted quickly and left immediately for the animal hospital, by the time they arrived, Maisy was in respiratory failure.

The veterinarians put her on a ventilator for 48 hours to save her life. She needed one-on-one care round the clock.

She also needed labs, chest X-rays, anti seizure meds, and more. Then she needed a spinal tap and an MRI.

At the animal hospital they called her ‘Miracle Maisy’ because they didn’t know if she’d live. I think she was worth saving.

Maisy recovering once she finally got to return home from the hospital

While recalling this story, Maisy’s caregiver added, “As the owner, you have to authorize these various treatments when your dog comes in. And you know, when you’re in an emergency, life-threatening situation, if you don’t authorize these treatments, your dog dies. Now, I probably would have authorized them anyway. As much as I possibly could. But not all. I just couldn’t have done it. And she would have died.

But I never had to make those decisions. When they said, ‘Your dog needs emergency stabilization. It’s $600.’ I said, ‘Do it.’ When they said, ‘She needs a ventilator,’ I said, ‘Do it.’ And etc etc.”

She could do it because Maisy’s mother had the forethought to get insurance for her girl soon after Maisy joined the family. Even though Maisy’s siblings and parents haven’t shown any similar history, her mother decided she would get the best insurance she could, “The Cadillac of Coverage” as she puts it, for the first year. And after a year’s time she would decide if she wanted to keep this level or downgrade a bit.

She’s decided to keep it.

I look at it like the electricity bill: have it and she’s cared for. I don’t see it as optional.

What Insurance is Right For My Pet?

Maisy’s mother decided on the best coverage possible. As she puts it, “I paid quite a bit for pet health insurance. I didn’t even tell anyone I was getting it because I didn’t want to get grief about spending money on something others consider a ‘luxury.’ Guess what? It was the best decision I ever made.”

Her insurance is through Trupanion. She chose them because they pay the vet directly. She didn’t have to come up with the money and then wait for reimbursement. She wouldn’t have been able to give Maisy the care she desperately needed if she had to pay out of pocket up front. Trupanion paid $15,000. Maisy’s mom’s portion was $1,500.

Insurance saved Maisy’s life. She needed every intervention they had to survive, and because I had insurance, I authorized it all. I didn’t have to choose between what my dog needed and what I could afford.

Not every pet parent wants or needs this level. It was right for Maisy, but there are many choices out there. This is where Money Magazine has done a huge chunk of the research for you.

Cristina sent me a blurb with links to a couple different articles. The first directly pertains to what we’re discussing in this blog. It lists 11 different pet insurance providers, with brief descriptions of what they cover, who they might be best for, and a short Pro/Con list. I found it to be a very useful tool, and you can even use it to make your own chart to compare different coverages side-by-side. I also like that it brings up situations I might not have considered or thought to ask.

The second article is more basic and discusses how the pandemic has affected our spending habits with regards to our pets. Being more of a report, it’s a bit dry, I’ll admit, but it does contain quite a few interesting facts and some helpful information. I would suggest at least giving it a skim to see what might be of interest to you. It also covers pet insurance in the second half.

Cristina’s blurb:

Do I need to get pet insurance? — this is the big question among pet owners. The reality is that it will depend on your circumstances. There’s no right or wrong answer here. You will need to sit down and list all the needs of your pet such as yearly medical exams, special conditions, medication, surgeries, etc. This will help you to see how much money we are looking at in a year out-of-pocket and determine if pet insurance is the right option. In addition, if you have a vet your pet already goes to make sure to ask if they accept pet insurance.

On the topic of expenses, you can check this National Pet Report that gathers information and surveyed pet owners to know more about pet expenses during the pandemic.

Miracle Maisy’s Rainy Day Fund

Whether you decide insurance is right for you and your pet or not, I suggest putting money aside every month regardless. Open a savings account. Call it, “Miracle Maisy’s Rainy Day Fund.”

It will remind you of her story and why it’s so important to be prepared for the unthinkable.

Then if you do find yourself in a situation where you have to make such quick and scary decisions, you just might have the funds to cover those unexpected and often pricey expenses.

Remember, even with insurance, you will still have some out-of-pocket expenses. The amount will depend on the level of insurance you choose and what sort of issues your pet needs covered. So put money into that savings account regularly. If you’re lucky enough to never have to tap into it, then you can throw your fur baby a fabulous birthday party when she’s 20 years old!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Dog Care, Emergency Pet Care, Medical Costs, Pet Insurance, Trupanion

Confidence Creates Freedom

April 14, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking and talking about confidence a lot lately – and my fur-niece, Lillie, is the reason it’s been on my mind.

Over the last year or so, my sister has allowed me to work with her dog to run off leash on certain trails. Lillie is a sweet girl who gets very excited to meet people, especially if they have treats — and if she sees houses, it’s all over. She will run to them and bound all around the yard. Lillie loves to explore.

But she is also a dog who gets nervous and sometimes downright angry when other dogs approach her too quickly or get in her face. It doesn’t matter whether the other dog is friendly; this is not how Lillie likes to be approached. And she doesn’t appreciate unexpected obstacles arising in her path. (This might be why we have such a special bond.) A couple snowmen really threw her for a loop this winter.

Lillie enjoys the dog park, but doesn’t often play with other dogs. She’d rather be out on the trails.

I’m not a trainer, but I do know a thing or two. And one thing is for sure: you can’t just let your dog off leash right away and expect her to come back when called. You have to work up to that. Trainers have various ways to teach this and different techniques for different dogs, but slow is key, at least in my experience.

And of course, Lillie already knew her basic commands. But this particular situation required learning to mind me even with LOTS of distractions.

Lillie and I needed to build our relationship (we had a pretty good one already, but this requires a deeper bond than just being fun to hang with). She needed to learn that I am home base. That I am going to keep her safe when other dogs approach.

I needed to teach Lillie to want to come back to me. Luckily she enjoys praise, but she is also super treat motivated, so I had easy tools at my disposal. My parents’ dog, Rascal, would prefer to run off and explore, and when she does so she couldn’t care less about treats, praise, or toys. I’m certain Rascal could be trained to be off leash, but I also know my limitations. I don’t have that expertise, so she will always be tethered to me on our walks.

But back to Lillie and her confidence. Over time we have been able to allow her to go further and further away to explore. She’s learned to start turning and looking our way when she sees other people ahead — we always ask whether they’d like us to leash her — and comes back if the answer is yes.

She has become more interested in splashing through the water. She loves scrambling up rocks. Lillie has become much more patient when other dogs run up to her. When we’re out on the trails, she’s even begun to invite some of those dogs to run with her for a bit. And one thing I have really noticed is that at the dog park she has become more interested in checking out and meeting the other dogs — even playing some. Only a little bit, but it’s happening more often.

Lillie has become more confident. She knows what is expected of her, and she enjoys showing off what a good girl she is. Lillie seriously has what we call a “proud face.”

Her confidence has shone through in her behavior. Her developing patience with other dogs is because she has more confidence, and because we were patient training her. Her taking more risks and meeting other dogs and running with them, especially on the trails, is due to her developing confidence. The way she looks at her mother, brother, and I is because she knows she is safe, and that makes her confident.

People are the same. It takes time to build confidence. Even when we have the desire to do something or try something new, we need to go easy on ourselves. Some people do best when they jump right into it. Others need slow introductions. We need to get to know ourselves and what works best for us.

I’m sort of in the middle. I need time to mull things over, to explore and feel like the benefits outweigh the risks, and that I will be able to handle those risks if things don’t go as I hoped. Even with something wonderful, I need time to think it over. That is one thing that people with anxiety or who have survived traumatic experiences tend to have in common. Yet once I do make that decision, I often want to jump in and get things moving. It just might take me awhile to get to that decision.

But this isn’t always the case. I don’t make decisions in the same way for every situation. While people are different from one another, we are also different within our own selves, and that’s okay. It took me a long time to understand it’s okay if I need time to build confidence in one area, but not at all in another.

Confidence Takes TimeThe confidence I have developed in myself has taken lots of time, hard work, and a boatload of patience with myself. Working with dogs and being patient with them — especially the timid ones, as well as the owners who are super nervous about having this stranger take care of their precious pups — has come pretty easily for me.

As I gained more clients and developed more relationships, I finally began to realize that I should allow that same type of patience with myself. I’ve heard it. I knew it. But I didn’t really practice it when it came to my own perceived or real shortcomings.

As I watched how the dogs in my life, as well as some of their caregivers, gained confidence — partly due to my patience and willingness to meet them where they’re at — and then decided to take more risks, it made me see how freeing our lives become when we are patient enough to give ourselves time to build our own confidence.

Lillie has so much more freedom now that she is confident and now that we know we can trust her. It didn’t happen in a day. It took time, patience, and a bit of risk-taking on our parts as well. We’re still working on some things. But what a difference it has made for all of us.

Confidence doesn’t just happen in a snap. For most of us it takes many, many baby steps. And sometimes we feel like we’re not making any progress. But stick with it, whatever it is. You will get there.

And if you doubt it, just ask Lillie.

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Anxiety, Confidence, Dog Training, Off leash

Your Dog Needs a First Aid Kit Too

March 31, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

Most of us have some sort of First Aid kit at home. Or at least a spot where our bandages, ointment and such are kept. Some of us even have one in our vehicles, especially if we like to partake in a lot of outdoor activities.

Your Dog Needs a First Aid KitBut have you considered that our dogs should also have a First Aid kit? Do you know what essentials should be included?

First, I recommend you make one or two extra copies of your dog’s veterinary records. One can be kept in your home First Aid Kit, and the other can be kept in your car, so you’re never without it. I strongly suggest you put together two full kits — one for your home, one for your car, and just keep records in both.

But after that, what are the minimum items that should be included?

Essentials

Phone Numbers – After your dog’s vet records, make sure to have a list of other emergency numbers. If your vet isn’t also a 24-hour animal hospital, know one or two that are closest to you, and include that address and phone number. It’s a good idea anytime you travel with your dog to be aware of the emergency vets in the area you’ll be staying as well. Always be sure to have the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center Phone Number: (888) 426-4435.

A photo of your dog – If your dog gets loose, having a current photo on hand will save precious time so you can post pictures and flyers in the area, give some to the local pound and vets, as well as post to social media.

Dog First Aid Handbook – Among many others, The American Red Cross is one publisher for these types of handbooks. A quick reference guide would also be useful. And there are apps you can download to your phone as well. Again, The American Red Cross has a Pet First Aid app.

Leash for Dog First Aid Kit

An Extra Leash – I recommend a slip lead leash, so if your dog gets loose and out of her collar, you still have the ability to leash her. A slip lead doesn’t require a clip. If you don’t have this style of leash, but need a way to tether your dog without a collar, simply slip the end of her leash through the handle, and slip the loop over her head.

Self Cling Bandages – These are stretchy and don’t require the use of adhesives or pins to keep them in place.

Muzzle – You may want to have a soft muzzle or strips of cloth in your First Aid kit. Even the calmest dog can bite when hurt or scared. This keeps both of you safe as you tend to any wounds. NEVER muzzle a dog who is having difficulty breathing for any reason, including vomiting.

Sterile Saline – This is to flush the wound. Avoid using hydrogen peroxide, particularly on large or open wounds. While a small, diluted amount for small cuts and scrapes is generally not harmful, even then saline or even mild soap and water is preferable. Plus peroxide can burn a little. (We will want hydrogen peroxide in our kit for a different use.)

Antibiotic Spray or Ointment – For minor cuts and scrapes. It helps the wound heal quicker, but also aids in soothing it. Vetericyn brand is what many fellow pet sitters recommend and have on hand. I also like Sulfodene’s 3-Way Ointment, but as with any type of medication, contact your vet to ask what is best for you and your dog. An antimicrobial spray can also be useful.

Dressing and Tools – Gauze rolls, non-stick, absorbent gauze pads (or gauze sponges), cotton balls, cotton swabs, adhesive tape, tweezers, and blunt tip scissors — I recommend trauma shears. They are more heavy duty, and can be used if you need to put together a splint for your dog.

Dog First Aid Kit Supplies

Disposable gloves – Latex free is preferable.

Hydrogen Peroxide – Not for wound care, but to induce vomiting ONLY when instructed by your veterinarian or poison control center. Inducing vomiting can cause more harm in some situations, so ALWAYS check before using peroxide or anything intended to induce vomiting.

Styptic Powder – This stops bleeding fairly quickly. I find it especially useful if your dog rips a toenail while out hiking, or if you accidentally cut the quick when trimming her nails.

Moldable Splint Rolls – In case you need to immobilize an injured leg. This is where trauma shears are more helpful than less sturdy ones. If you are not familiar with these types of splints, here are several examples on Amazon.

Extras You Might Want to Include

Digital Thermometer – While this fluctuates from dog to dog, a dog’s temperature is considered to be in normal range if between 100ºF and 102.5ºF. If your dog’s temperature falls below 99ºF or rises above 104ºF, it’s definitely time to call the vet.

Isopropyl (Rubbing) Alcohol and Petroleum Jelly – To prevent injury, you need to lubricate the thermometer before inserting it. You will also need rubbing alcohol to clean it after use.

Ice Packs

Foil Emergency Blankets – Something like this found on Amazon.

Syringes – These can help flush wounds or to administer oral medication.

Activated Charcoal – To counteract or absorb certain toxins. As with hydrogen peroxide only use when directed by your veterinarian or poison control center! 

Flashlight – And extra batteries. Or a solar flashlight, but be sure to keep it charged!

Portable Dog Dish – Either the collapsable kind made of food grade silicone, or the kind made with leakproof fabric. Both can be collapsed or folded to fit into small spaces.

Extra Towel(s)

Tick Remover Tool

Benadryl (generic – Diphenhydramine) – If your dog is allergic to bee stings this is an essential, especially if you are outdoors a lot with her. While you always want to check with your vet, the generally recommended dosage for dogs is very easy to remember – 1 mg/pound. So a 20 pound dog would generally take a dose of 20mg. This helpful article discusses what Benadryl is commonly used for and it has a handy dosage chart.

Baby Wipes – There are some marketed specifically for dogs, but sensitive skin baby wipes are fine to use. This is more just to help clean your dog up if there is a situation like she has diarrhea or is vomiting and it gets in her fur (or all over your car).

Finally, you might want to keep an extra toy, shirt, or dog blanket in the car that smells like home to help comfort your dog during a stressful situation.

There are many online courses you can take to learn the basics of pet first aid as well. Pet Pro Hero is one. Udemy is another. And of course the American Red Cross has a course. To find in-person training, I recommend contacting your local vet for suggestions, as well as community colleges and Town and City Recreation departments that offer Adult Education courses.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Dog, pet first aid

Why I Hate Retractable Leashes

March 3, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

UGH!

I hate them. HATE them.

From the thin, wiry lead that I liken to a garrote — a strangulation device — to the big, cumbersome handle, to that tiny locking system that always seems to fail to lock fully, breaks, or more often, the owners just don’t use.

If you don’t know what a retractable leash is – good! That means you don’t use one.

This style of leash is designed with the line spooled inside a plastic handle, and extends as your dog pulls on it. They also have a locking system so you can choose the length you want it to remain.

There is no control to be had when using one of these types of leashes. It’s a dog walker’s nightmare. I won’t use them. If owners don’t want to purchase a typical leash, I insist on using my own. Have I given in on occasion? Yes. VERY rarely. Only if the dog is incredibly good on leash, and NEVER when I do a pack walk.

No way.

So why do so many caregivers choose these leashes? It comes from love. It truly does. I know this, because my own parents prefer to use a retractable leash for their dog, Rascal — a smart, playful, full-of-energy little dog who would love nothing more than to run freely in the woods.

As smart as she is, she is also stubborn. Rascal knows her basic commands, but when there are distractions, she quickly ignores commands in favor of running and exploring if she is able to escape. And she is an escapee who probably taught Houdini in another life.

My sweet, loving parents are like many pet parents. They know they can’t quite give Rascal the exercise and mental stimulation she needs, and they just aren’t going to stay on top of consistent training — so a retractable leash to let her roam “freely” without actually getting away is their answer.

They love her. They want to let her sniff around and enjoy her walks. They want to give Miss Rascal a sense of freedom without her actually being free to run away.

Plus, there are many people out there gushing about their love of retractable leashes. There are other blog posts in favor of them. Pet stores sell them. There might even be a trainer out there who actually prefers them.

And yet I respectfully, and vehemently, disagree.

They are terrible. At least 99.9 percent of owners should scrap those retractable leashes and just get a traditional style one.

That other 0.1 percent? They are the few star pupils who actually understand and consistently train their dog properly on a retractable leash. Plus, I would venture a guess that those caregivers don’t use this style of leash very often, and never a corded one.

Let’s face it, while there might be some benefits to using a retractable leash when trained properly, most dogs are not, in fact, trained for them at all.

So instead:

It teaches your dog to constantly pull.

Retractable leashes place a bit of constant pressure on your dog, teaching them that they must pull in order to move forward. If you want to teach your dog not to pull on walks, that continuous pressure will only confuse her, and undermine any training you’re trying to accomplish.

Additionally, if you are using other training tools to assist you in teaching your dog to walk properly on leash, such as a training collar, a no-pull harness, or gentle leader, a retractable leash will add even more confusion. Those tools are meant to give you more control and your dog less, not the other way around, so they do the opposite of what a retractable leash generally does. This might even result in your dog becoming aggressive because she is getting such inconsistent messaging and has no idea what is expected of her, therefore leading to frustration.

Your dog can easily get tangled.

Retractable leashes range in length from about 10-25 feet. I have found that owners who love these leashes but don’t understand how to properly use them also tend to go for the one with the longest lead possible, then get frustrated when their dog gets tangled in brush or trees out in the woods. This isn’t fun for anyone.

With retractable leashes, you have less control.

If your dog is like our Little Rascal, she might dart out into the street when a car or bicycle goes by before you have time to react and lock that leash.

Or how about when you encounter other dogs? Not every dog enjoys visiting other dogs or humans, especially ones that run right up to them. I have encountered many a caregiver walking their dog with that leash unlocked and the poor thing pulling with all its might to the fullest extent of the leash. The dog spies us down the street with whatever pack I am walking that day, and she goes wild, barking excitedly because… Friends! Or possibly, and much worse… Foes! And she thinks she needs to go into protection mode.

Luckily, most of the dogs I walk are friendly and can handle these situations with ease, but that is not always the case. I used to have a large Irish Terrier mix who enjoyed playing with other dogs when off leash in a contained space, but was very leash aggressive. She would pull me down, quite literally, if I was unprepared and taken off guard by another dog approaching us. It doesn’t matter how friendly the other dog is, if one animal doesn’t enjoy this type of experience, it will end badly in a hurry.

The handle is just too cumbersome.

The big, plastic handle is large. I realize some people prefer this, but for me, it’s a hassle. I can hold and control  the handle of a regular leash much more easily.

The cord can be dangerous!

Some retractable leashes have a tape style leash rather than a cord, but most people I’ve seen still use that darn cord. While I don’t like either choice, the cord can cause real harm when it gets tangled around yours or your dog’s legs, and it can cause cuts or burns on your hands or legs when the cord quickly releases when your dog darts out.

So what can you do instead if you want to give your dog a bit more freedom and exercise — particularly of you aren’t in a position to take good long walks, hikes, or even runs daily?

First, even several shorter walks can be beneficial. It gives your dog physical exercise, and if you work on proper manners while on leash, it exercises her mind as well. Additionally, it establishes a respectful bond between the two of you.

Along with that, you can play training games inside or in the yard with her. It feels like freedom and playtime to her, but again, it will exercise both her mind and body, while some of these games won’t be as physically taxing on you.

If you are able, hiring a reputable dog walker is another excellent option. While it’s great for you to walk your dog as well, the dog walker will take her on longer excursions, and some will even work on training and offer tips for you to work on.

Doggie daycare is another great way for your dog to get exercise as well as socialization. Not all daycares are the same, so do your research to be sure you are sending your best buddy to a safe and fun environment. And again, some daycares offer training, so that can be another plus.

There is almost never a need for a retractable leash, and plenty of options for how to give your dog the physical and mental stimulation she needs without one.

And although I personally am not going to go into any possible benefits of those retractable leashes, I do recognize that some people will insist on using them anyway. So if you must know a couple reasons why they might be useful, and want to use them correctly and only in the right circumstances, check out this blog by Certified Dog Behavior Consultant Kayla Fratt from Journey Dog Training

But seriously. Ditch that retractable leash and get a good, old-fashioned one. It’ll probably be less expensive to boot!

 

 

Filed Under: Blog

What Makes You Feel Appreciated?

February 24, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

Today we’re going to focus on our mental health.

I was on a video chat earlier with a group of people who had such an insightful conversation about Love Languages. The focus was mainly business related — how do we fulfill the needs of our clients, for sure, but moreso, what is it about our business that fulfills our own needs? Why do we gravitate toward certain activities, jobs, or business ventures over others?

If you’ve never heard of Love Languages, here’s a quick explanation:

Certain actions make us feel most loved and appreciated, but the actions that speak to me — my love languages — may not speak to you. We need to learn what’s important to us as well as what’s important to others.

In his book The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman identified the languages as: words of affirmation; quality time; physical touch; acts of service; and receiving gifts.

While we each crave a bit of all five, we tend to have one major way we receive, or feel loved and appreciated, and then another one or two that might be close seconds. Then the last one or two might be very low on our radar, yet we still need them to some degree.

It’s not just about romantic love

Let me stop right here to emphasize that Love Languages doesn’t just mean romantic love. It includes every type of relationship imaginable: family, friends, coworkers, business partners, children, teachers, bosses and employees, people we contract with, and so on.

We can apply Love Languages to any interpersonal connection, although we also need to be mindful of professional (and personal) boundaries.

It’s a way to show our appreciation for another person in a way they best receive it, and vice versa.

Knowing what makes us feel most fulfilled goes a long way toward building healthy relationships. We know what to ask for. And by the way, it’s okay to ask for what you want. Not to demand or command, but certainly to ask.

If we don’t honestly and effectively communicate our needs to others, we will become frustrated when those needs aren’t met. And the people around us will get frustrated and confused by our eventual outburst or distant behavior because they had no idea what we needed in the first place.

If you ask for something and it’s a “No” from the other person, then at least you both know exactly where you stand. If the ask and ultimate “No” is a deal breaker for you, then move on. Otherwise, find the compromise that results in both of you feeling good about the outcome.

When we learn more about these different types of languages, we begin to become more sensitive to what others crave. For example, one person might really need physical touch to feel appreciated — a hug, a firm handshake when greeting one another, a gentle squeeze on the arm, or depending on the type of relationship, snuggling while watching a show.

Another person might not enjoy all that touching so much, but would really feel terrific through acts of service — someone taking the time to teach them something new, cleaning the dishes without being asked, giving them a ride somewhere, anticipating some sort of need and fulfilling it before being asked.

When our love language is instead used to cause harm

But here is what else we need to understand: our Love Languages can also be used to hurt us. We need to be aware of it if that happens, recognize the source of that harm, and know how to fix it, work through it, or leave if the acts or comments are intentional and abusive.

This short article from Psychology Today gives us a brief idea of how our love languages can be used for both good and for harm.

What if your Love Language is physical touch, but you grew up in a household where you were either denied any sort of physical touch — no hugs, cuddles, anything — or the polar opposite, you were physically abused? How might that affect you? Not only during that time, but into adulthood with adult relationships of all kinds.

Same goes with any Love Language.

Words of Affirmation can be used as a weapon if withheld, or alternatively, become words of constant criticism and put-downs.

Physical Gifts might be used in a guilt-inducing situation: “I’ll only give you this trinket if you behave in this certain way.” (Not to be confused with earning something that you set a goal for.) Or destroying something cherished to punish the other person.

Quality Time might be withheld as inducement to do only what the other person wants. Or something you were looking forward to doing together might be intentionally canceled just to cause emotional pain.

Acts of Service can also be used for guilt or shame. It can be a partner refusing to help with something even though they know you are unable to do it yourself, and then saying it’s your own fault, thus creating a feeling of helplessness.

There are so many ways our love languages, in the wrong hands, can be used to cause harm. And if we aren’t mentally equipped to recognize what is happening, it becomes detrimental.

I’ve always been envious of people who seem to have it together so well that they can easily walk away from people who hurt them in some way. That has never been an easy thing for me. Honestly, it still isn’t. I’m still the person who is going to give someone the benefit of the doubt plus many more chances than they probably deserve before I walk away.

Overcoming and forgiving those harms

It took therapy for me to realize that my own fear of judgment and rejection made me incredibly resistant to even appear to reject others. I’d end up in relationships (romantic or otherwise) because I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings instead of admitting that, through no one’s fault, it just wasn’t a fit. Or worse, I’d commit to unhealthy relationships.

Much of that stemmed from never learning my emotions were valid. Among other things, as a child I was raised to believe my emotions of fear, anger, sadness, etc. were bad, particularly if they didn’t fit the narrative of those around me.

My main love language is Words of Affirmation, and I can barely recall any of that growing up. Instead it was criticism and how bad of a person I was for any mistake I made or limitation I was struggling with.

At least that’s how it always felt to me.

I would ask time and again what about me made my family proud, and was never given an answer that I can remember other than to stop being overdramatic, too sensitive, and ridiculous.

I was not taught how to understand and handle my swarming emotions in a positive way, but to instead believe it was up to me to make sure everyone else felt okay — and if my frustration disrupted that, then I was somehow bad, wrong, or ultimately the one to blame for whatever emotion the adults around me were experiencing. This led to a lot of unhealthy choices.

As an adult, and with my therapist’s guidance, I have come to accept that those childhood lessons were not intentional. Everyone does the best they can with what they have and what they know, however limited it may be. We had never heard of Love Languages back then. My family had their own demons to work through. They loved me for sure, they just weren’t equipped to understand what I needed.

I’ve learned that it is okay to simultaneously admit that our parents were not perfect and did cause some amount of harm, and to also understand and accept that they loved us and did the best they knew how.

I had work to do to learn how to sort through everything and how to cope in a productive way. I continue to work on it every day. I have triggers, just like everyone else, but now I recognize them and where they come from, and most of the time I can work through them in a healthy manner.

I have also learned to forgive myself — mostly — for my own numerous, unintentional mistakes I made when I became a parent.

For the majority of people, our intention is never to cause another person harm, especially someone we love. I fully believe deep in my soul that most people are good and well-intentioned at heart.

But we are all imperfect and make mistakes. Sometimes we can work through them, and sometimes we need to distance ourselves from others, especially when they are unwilling to accept the role they play in a situation.

That’s called boundaries.

We can love other people and still set boundaries for what we will allow in our lives.

What about those dogs?

Now back to that video chat — how does my own love language fit into the life I have chosen, the business I am pursuing? As I mentioned, words of affirmation are the main way I feel loved and appreciated. That is, sincere words of affirmation. My close seconds are acts of service and quality time.

So holy cow, dogs!

They might not speak my human language, but boy do they speak my love language.

A wagging tail. A canine smile with the tongue hanging out the side. Snuggling. Running up to me. Even jumping. 😉 That happy whine they make when they just can’t contain their excitement. And ohhhhh – those eyes.

Dogs have no idea how to hide their emotions. Nor would they have any desire to do so. When you are making a dog happy, you know it. They tell you.

And when you take good care of someone else’s dogs, their caregivers also tell you. They thank you. They smile. They continue to book with you over and over again. They recommend you. They trust you.

Nothing feels better to me than knowing I have earned someone’s trust. That I have made them feel good, happy, safe, and comfortable. When their dog greets me with happy tails I know I have succeeded, and I feel super loved.

Building a business around my love for dogs has helped me gain confidence in myself and my own worthiness. It’s a low risk way to learn how to fully accept joy and love from another being. After all, dogs don’t judge or criticize. Even the shy or timid ones who need time to build trust can make us feel incredibly fulfilled when they finally allow us to pet them. It teaches us patience with ourselves and with others.

Because of dogs, I have learned how to accept praise, how to forgive, and how to love and be loved.

What makes you feel loved and appreciated? What have you had to overcome — or might still be working on overcoming — to allow yourself to accept that love and appreciation from others?

Come share with our community!

 

Filed Under: Blog

Let’s Talk About Poop

February 17, 2021 By Kelly Crompton Leave a Comment

Poop. It happens. As dog owners we deal with it constantly, but are we dealing with it responsibly? I mean, it’s just poop, right? It’s natural and, of course, biodegradable. So other than just being gross to look at and possibly step in, it’s harmless, isn’t it?

After years of living in a house with a decent backyard, I now live in an apartment complex. I’m getting used to listening to my upstairs neighbors stomping around. I’m used to the maintenance workers laughing and talking loudly first thing in the morning (I live right above their garage). I can ignore most of what goes on around me.

But I can NOT get over the fact that so many residents don’t pick up after their dogs. This is a very pet-friendly complex, which I adore, with poop bags and trash bins stationed throughout, plus friendly signs reminding residents to please clean up after their dogs. We even have a small fenced-in dog play area, also with poop bags and a trash bin. Yet I find so many “landmines” everywhere I walk with my dog — on the grass and sidewalks alike. Even in the small play area where the means to clean it up is steps away!

Misconceptions

So why don’t responsible dog parents just clean up after their dogs? I’m going to graciously assume it’s not out of laziness or rudeness. Heck, even I have forgotten to refill my poop bag dispenser a time or two. And until recently, I didn’t fully understand just how great the harmful effects are of leaving my dog’s poop, even off the trails out on our hikes.

So let’s assume it’s based on misunderstanding, or a lack of facts.

There are many people who believe that not only is canine fecal matter biodegradable, but that it can be a sort of fertilizer. After all, gardeners the world ’round spread cow manure to grow healthy crops. So poop is poop, right?

No.

Cows have an entirely different diet and a vastly different digestive system. What they ingest, digest, and then excrete is far different than what our canine companions leave behind.

Sure, technically dog waste is biodegradable. But your pup’s poop can carry loads of unhealthy bacteria, viruses, and parasites, leading to disease for animals and humans alike. When not picked up, these harmful pollutants can seep into the ground and also be carried into streams and other water supplies.

Rain will not wash away the poop; instead, it will speed up the travel process. So when you swim in lakes and rivers near areas where people consistently leave dog waste, you are swimming in poop and all the bacteria it breeds.

Additionally, because a dog’s diet is completely different than that of wild animals, its waste creates an imbalance in the ecosystem. Again, when that waste finds its way into local water sources, it can cause issues such as the growth of invasive plant species and harmful algae blooms. This adversely affects fish and other surrounding wildlife.

Check out this interesting and informative article written by outdoor enthusiast Wes Siler of Outside Magazine to learn more about the effects of our dogs’ poop on our environment, and how to manage it.

Effects on Health

What sort of health problems can it cause?

Just to list a few, dog doo can carry various types of parasitic worms (think hookworm and whipworms), salmonella, the easily transmitted giardia parasite, and the highly contagious parvovirus (often referred to as just parvo).

These, along with others, can lead to health issues such as diarrhea, vomiting, weight loss, fatigue, blood disorders, and more. Some symptoms are minor and easily treated. Others will include expensive vet bills and your dog in a great deal of discomfort. Still others can end up fatal, especially if discovered late or untreated altogether.

Pug poopingThis is a short and incomplete list of the possible harmful effects of pet poop, but my hope is that it’s enough, without completely turning your tummy, to convince you that picking up your dog’s poo is a minor inconvenience that will ensure other animals and humans remain healthy on your watch.

Also, even if it didn’t cause illness, it’s just rude to leave these unsightly, smelly, squishy, piles of foul fecal matter for others to dodge.

 

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Pick up that poop

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Grab My Free Gift!

Read More Here

  • How To Find Your Perfect Dog Sitter – All Your Questions Answered
  • Building Trust With a Scared Dog
  • Do I Really Need to Walk My Dog?
  • Tips for Training Your Deaf Dog
  • Does Your Dog Need Sun Protection?
  • Cures for Runny Poop
  • Do You Need Pet Insurance?
  • Confidence Creates Freedom
  • Your Dog Needs a First Aid Kit Too
  • Why I Hate Retractable Leashes
  • What Makes You Feel Appreciated?
  • Let’s Talk About Poop
  • Must Love Dogs
  • Today is a Good Day to Clean Fido’s Bowl
  • A Good Case of the Zooms: Video Chats with Pets

Footer

Some of the recommendations and links I provide are affiliate links. This means I may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking the link.

Copyright © 2023 Kelly Crompton of Because of Dogs